do you understand how many times this chemistry thing has been brought up in my mind?



alot.

a text from josh:

"yeah you and him. In my mind when I think of either of you. The only person I can picture either of you with is each other. You guys are meant to be. At lease I think so. But there are bumps in the road."



comment to that james.

i had such a day full of optimism for us.
that changed didn't it?


i love chemistry and we had a lot of it. i still thought we did until i read that entry.
come on are you being serious?

fuck

brittany pebbles.

i wake up everyday at 1pm. i fucking hate it. i lose half my day cause i cant get my ass out of bed in the morning......its shitty.

today i am going to take my sis to the ortho, then go to the factory in rochester to watch sticks and stones play, then to erins for the night. which i kinda wanna go to but dont......i am going though.


goodbye.

message me if any of my friends on here still use this somewhat.

i miss when i didn't have to worry about things.
i miss my life of being alone.
everything is way easier that way.

i never thought this would happen.
i hate it so much.
but it has to be like this.

merry christmas.

the roads are covered in white. i can hear the wind yet the stillness of no one. laying my head back i think for just a minute. my body is numb and immoble. i am still thinking. not thinking about how this happened but wondering if you would ever miss me. thinking about what you will do after all this is done. thinking about if we will make it through. maybe a feeling in your head just told you something happend? i sit upside down trying to breath but still can't move. i am crying now. scared and alone. but none of that matters. i can honestly say only you. i grab my phone and give my one and only phonecall. you.

please come and visit me. tell me everything is going to be alright. please?

me and mike got tickets to city and colour today.
and i drove to the mall twice.
and now we are waiting to go to brent's.
and i am not driving!!!!!!!!!!!!
so don't ask me again.

it has been 11 weeks of nothing. i am kind of dissapointed in myself for that. but whatever. school has been really good. i love every aspect of it. there is too much to really talk about from these weeks of not writing anything down, but i just came home from chicago. i wish i could have had more free time than i did. i had to dance from sunrise to sunset. i still managed to take some pictures and walk the streets. oh and go to the CHEESECAKE FACTORY. the ceilings look like butt cheeks in there.
haha.
a man is coming to dinner tomorrow.

fuck you bitch....
peach fest wasn't that great at all.
i should of went to abby's to watch movies.
but i didn't
and i am drunk and this fuckin' sucks.
i am glad james is at sam'sm
yesss it might be a bad day tomrorrow

the definition of the summer of 08' is.........



TWO FACED BITCHES.

i don't know what you want from me.
do you hate me this much to publicly yet secretly tell me i am a fuck up.
it doesn't make since how someone can feel ok to do this.
i am sorry if i have ever done anything to you.
but i just feel instead of just acting like this is a joke,
why dont you just straight up tell me why your doing this or better yet tell me who you are.
and its uncalled for if your doing this just to be the funny person who makes brittany look like a dumbass.


but there are those people out there that don't feel anything when they do this.
if your that person, then i am so sorry.

sincerely,
brittany

you know i love you.
i know your upset about all the stuff i wrote but just think about it.
it wasn't bad.
i mean it sort of was. but not totally.
all i want in life if for you to love me.
and me being my selfish self, i tell myself that you don't.
but you do, i know you do.
and thank you for that.
and i love you too baby.

and fuck you anonymous little fucker.

is golf a sport?
what actually is a fact?
is there always that one person you can talk to?
why is the word "insane" when you feel is should be somewhat "outsane"?
is it right to keep the wrong thing in your head?
should i really buy those boots from aldo?




those are my thoughts of the day. i hope they keep you thinking.
yess. goodnight. goodnight DM.

also a question for you: who the fuck is DM?

i don't really feel like posting anything. but today was alright. i worked all day and didn't have one thing to actually do. so i organized about four boxes of our beads and sorted them by stone and size. it took me about 5 hours. then i sat there until the clock read 6 and peaced. then i went to justin perek's it was alright. not bad at all. very mellow. and now i am at netty's up by myself once again but its ok i am sleeping in her bed by myself cause rosie and netty fell asleep on the couch. i just really hope they dont wake up and come sleep in here with me. i am super comfortable.

jeanette is sleeping.
rosie is sleeping.
jaclyn went home.
kate went home.
kayla went home.
i am up.
i am bored.
i am at netty's house.
call me.

just so everyone knows don't ask to borrow my clothes. ever.

actually that was a joke because everyone who is my livejournal friend can borrow my clothes.

but you know when someone asks to borrow something and you totally have no idea where they got the balls to ask cause that person isn't really in that type of relationship with you.

it's annoying.

but really any of you guys can borrow my clothes any day.
if you really wanted to i guess. nothing special.


confusing. sorry.

what you want in life can never be looked for.it must be brought to you and must be right in your face for some people to realize. that right there is what i want or in a matter for most of us who we want.
have you found the right person? you make yourself believe that that man right in front of you is your future. but only cause you want him to be. vise versa for you men. but stop believing that someone must meet all these standards. cause inside of you, you know who or what is in store for you. but you have to allow yourself to become of that.
also do not take anything for granted.

i met craig owens today for the second time.